Month: March 2020

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We are officially two full weeks into lock down. So far, my family has not driven me to homicide. I’ve been baking with the littlest on the weekends. Last weekend it was “Cimmanim Rolls”, this weekend was Banana Bread. She “helps”. Meaning she dumps the pre-measured ingredients into a bowl and stirs for about 15 seconds.
She taught herself to use the Facebook portal during our baking session yesterday. She randomly selects people on the contact list to video chat with. She got calls in with my mom and three of her aunties. While I made banana bread.
She also made a point of mentioning that when she grows up, she is going to stop at one kid and two cats. (Me too, kid. Me too.) Then she says she wants a son, so if she has a daughter, she’ll just give her to some lady. (OMG, speaking my language, kid.)

But on a serious note…
As I wrote this, I received word that over 200 employees were furloughed from my employer today. I don’t even know what to do with that information. My heart hurts for them. I know that the world as we know it has changed drastically. I hope that we can come back from this stronger than ever. But I fear that it is only going to get worse before it gets better. And it will leave deep scars on our hearts.

STAY THE FUCK AT HOME.

I know I’ve been MIA this week. It’s been a difficult few days. Tuesday was the first anniversary of my best friend’s death. I still don’t really know how to process it.
She would’ve told me to fake it till I make it. So that’s what I guess I have to do now.
The littles are being fairly good – I think they know mommy’s having a rough time. Got my older one registered for High School. Already. It seems like just yesterday that we were bringing him home from the hospital. I find it difficult to reconcile this 13 year old with my little boy. I’m just glad he still finds fun in being silly with his momma. Yesterday, he ran into my home office, saying the toilet was smoking. “What?!?” “The toilet is smoking, mom, you have to hurry!” So I run into the bathroom to find this:
http://suicidalguppy.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Smoking-Toilet.jpg
OMG. I’ve created a monster.

To be honest, I’ve found it very difficult to write over the last few days. Exile is starting to take it’s toll on me. I really don’t mind being mostly confined to my home – I’m probably 90% hermit anyway. What is difficult, is that I’ve found myself working full-time from home, still doing all the normal “mom” stuff (cooking, cleaning, laundry, kids’ baths, etc), and now I have to basically play at “teaching” both preschool and 8th grade on top of it all. I spend close to an hour each day just preparing enough activities to keep the littles occupied for PART of my work day. In all seriousness, I’m ready to just throw in the towel on all of it.
Most people are practicing social distancing, while I am actively looking for someone who has tested positive so I can lick their face.
Hopefully, I can find my sense of humor again by tomorrow.

So… my oldest little locked me out of the house today. Purely accidental (lucky for him), but still. Lucky for me, there’s an app for that.
Week one of working from home with a full house. This definitely hasn’t been ideal, but we all do what we have to, right?
Everything in the country is shutting down, from restaurants to bars to coffee shops to movie theaters. And beyond the madness of being unable to find any TP, or go out to dinner, the only real change for me is that the littles are here to bug me while I work.
Our office is doing a virtual happy hour this afternoon, and I’m a little frustrated that someone drank all the ginger beer. Luckily, my dad sees an opportunity for brownie points, and is off in search of supplies for my Mules right now. Hopefully the crazies haven’t gotten to the soda aisle yet. Fortunately, if they have, I DID stock up on whiskey…
Anyway, I think this weekend I’ll find an infected person and lick their face. Maybe then I can escape my family for a bit.

Well… the littles didn’t burn the house down or break anything yesterday. They DID, however, create an impressive mess… which they will be cleaning up today.
This morning, my littlest little managed to interrupt a one-hour webinar no less than five times before I finally broke down and locked her out of the room. This was after she started screech-crying because nobody had turned on any cartoons for her.
The silver lining to all this madness? My older little is learning to moderate his Top Ramen intake. There are only two packages left in the house. I told him that he is welcome to eat them for lunch any day, but that we can’t get any more, since all the stores are sold out. Haha… they aren’t! But he doesn’t need to know that…

3/18/2020 – Day Three of Quarantine

March 18, 2020 | new | No Comments

The children have been suspiciously quiet today. I should probably look for signs of life, but I’m actually getting some work done today, so I’ll probably wait to check on them. Hopefully I don’t regret this later.
Amazon actually delivered some educational materials early – maybe they’re just quietly learning downstairs? Haha, wishful thinking…
Tomorrow should be interesting. I’ll need to be available for a solid 3-hour block without interruption, so my guess is the littles are just saving it all up for that.
I actually cooked dinner in bulk for the last few days, so I don’t have to cook until the leftovers are gone. I’m sure the littles aren’t expecting to be handed the same foods they’ve already refused – eat it or starve, but momma’s not cooking anything new for a while. Ha!!! That’ll teach them. Should’ve eaten it the first time!

3/17/2020 – Day Two of Quarantine

March 17, 2020 | new | 1 Comment

Ordered educational workbooks for the littles today. One will be here in two days (thank you, Amazon Prime!!), the other is two weeks out. Argh.

Set up the 5 year old to watch a live field trip video about police officers. She got to hear all about what it’s like to be a cop, and what the inside of a cop car looks like. I hope she got a good taste of that now, because I can tell she’s the more likely one to get brought home by the cops later in life.

Looking for more whiskey….

3/16/2020 – Day One of Quarantine

March 17, 2020 | new | No Comments

I am “lucky” enough to work for a company that is allowing us to work from home during this madness, so I don’t have to worry about finances on top of everything else.

Here’s what my day looked like:

8:00am – Start work

8:30am – Littles wake up. They’re hungry. Didn’t I just feed them yesterday???

8:45am – “Mommy, are you done working yet?” “No, I just started.” “Oh. Ok.”

9:00am – “Can I watch TV?” “Sure, but be quiet while mommy’s working, ok?”

9:15am – “Are you done working NOW??” “Still no.” “Fine.” *storms off

10:00am – “I’m hungry.” (AGAIN?!?)

11:00am – “I’m bored.” *tells older child to read to the younger one

Noon – “I’m hungry.” (OMG!!!)

1:00pm – “I’m bored. Can I play on your laptop??” “Ugh. Here’s a video about giraffes. Learn something.” “OOOH I like giraffes!”

2:00pm – “Aren’t you done working yet??” “Still no.” *rolls eyes

3:00pm – “Can I watch you work?” “Sure, but I don’t know why… this is boring.”

3:05pm – “I’m bored.” “Told you so.”

3:10pm – “Can I use my play-doh?” “Only if your brother helps you get set up.”

3:12pm – “Bubba won’t help me.” “Well, then you need to find something else to do.”

3:13pm – “I don’t know what to do.” “Ugh. Here’s some educational worksheets I printed for you.” “Yay!!”

3:45pm – “I’m hungry”

Do you see why moms always look like they’ve escaped from a mental facility????

3/15/2020 – The Last Day of Freedom

March 17, 2020 | new | No Comments

Went to Fred Meyer today to buy basic stuff for dinner. Got the last package of ground beef and the last package of chicken. Still no pasta. Still no TP.

Watched a couple episodes of I, Zombie. Because why not?

OMG!! Someone posted on FB about the local Bartell’s having TP, so I jumped in the car and ran down there. They were almost out, and had a 2 per customer limit. Since I’m not an asshole, I only bought one.

3/14/2020 – Preparing for Quarantine, Part 2

March 17, 2020 | new | No Comments

Went to Costco today. Big mistake. They are out of:

  • Toilet Paper
  • Paper Towels
  • Rice
  • Dry beans
  • Frozen chicken
  • Fresh chicken
  • Pasta
  • Most canned goods

But!! I have plenty of coffee & powdered creamer. At least my family won’t have to avoid an uncaffeinated freak.